So I was thinking about how your life in your mind is always perceived as a long time ahead and indeed the future will be that life that you envisage. Suppose the biggest realisations is how everything before this perceived future is actually your life in reality and your journey to that planned nirvana in your mind is nothing more than a theoretical direction you aim for, which may not ever be found.
It's a bit disappointing I suppose when your whole life you've been preparing to prepare for your rest of your life and you realise you've reserved your enthusiasm, fun, happiness for your future nirvana only to feel that you've been less committed to your planned ideals to the now as you should've been from the start.
It may be that we are scared of the present because it is fragile and can break, based on what we do now and we're essentially worried about our actions and how they might affect the now that we really live in, because well experience it very quickly. For example you decide not to go dancing in the middle of the week, because you've reserved the excitement and liberty for your perceived life of excitement and liberty which is more suitable than the now. Not only that but, you might not want to risk not being able to get to work tomorrow if you drink too much or get hurt while out or countless other reasons. Most of these concerns are restrictions on our current attitude and perception because they are different to that place our life will be at in our minds - where it's suitable to have total freedom, release, excitement, fun and happiness. In the future, your current actions have a less immediate effect on it. I think this is appealing.
We are prisoners of our minds - Thoreu said that, "every man is living a life of quite desperation." and I tend to think that he was right and onto something quite fundamental.
Suppose, all is not lost and we just need to living in the real world, change our perceptions and aim part of our journey on journey itself because the now is shorter than the future....
Just a thought.
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