Started loosing sight of all sanity while reading ZAM in the bath last night. I'm hoping or at least expecting something to make sense in my subconscious somewhere along the line - the few loose thoughts that I absorb in my head seem to be so disparate, especially when the book goes into deep detail about Quality, the construction of thought and the identification of facts and harmony. I guess, it'll make sense the more I think about it, it's kinda like seeing the source code makes most things clear, although sometimes not.
I want to write. I don't know what to write. I guess, I should start gently, in small, manageable amounts but with a purpose and structure, unlike these blog posts for example. Short stories seem the natural start, or poetry but that may be too short. But the nice thing about poetry is that it can be short but potent with emotion. The balance is to well, balance story, emotion do that its not en effort to pay attention. I can't read or watch a hugely emotional or dramatic scene without getting somewhat uncomfortable or even bored.
It's funny, as I walk through the day, I pick up, determine and choose, what feels like suitable names for Chapters of a book that I've yet to write. Something's just sound like Titles like, "Having dinner in the dark" which suggests something deeper in meaning but which isn't initially apparent. I think my best book would be a short story or a long poem. One where I can damage the reader's perception of the world and heal,embellish and protect it. Emotions is that weapon, tool, trophy I'm talking about.
Had another good run last night, about 8km. Sometimes I wonder why I never ran at night before and now that the light is making its appearance through the sky, I guess, It'll stop becoming as regular as it becomes apparent that one can go out in the evening and enjoy the sunshine over drinks.
Haven't turned in the TV on for two days now, which is an indication of my commitment to my iPad and reading which makes me feel really good. Still haven't decided about bungie jumping and to be quite honest, the lack of decision could be telling... really close to buying a new rucksack but I don't need one and that's terrible, I like rucksacks. I think I might come back as an explorer and buy a rucksack each expedition(wouldn't it be great if we came back! What a cool thought!)
Had a roll and veg last night for dinner last night, had Chicken and mushroom pie with brown rice and peas for lunch, had a croissant and fruit juice for breakfast. That's ok, right? It's a real putty I woke up so many times last night and I have a bit if residual tiredness on me but I'm hoping to shake that off - pretty much like a dig does when it's wet, only I might cause attention if I do it physically...so I'll do it mentally.
Yesterday was a pretty successful day in terms of work. I'm thinking to continue with this, I may book myself out a meeting room and see how far I get...done it before was ok.
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